I really like my friend Josh. I sit down to lunch with him and in the course of conversation with him, lay out one of my laboriously worded emotional tensions that I find myself living in these days. Actually, it was specifically this one. My girlfriends sympathize with me and ask me questions to get more nuanced understandings. Then, they tell stories about when something like happened to them. My fiance respects what I have to say and tells me how it makes him feel and works with me to figure out how we can both feel good about the situation in the future. My little brother laughs at me but then challenges me to be certain that I am taking responsibility for any part I may have in the complication.
Josh is sensitive, funny and knows A LOT about me. He's really smart and tells stories in the same style that I do but much much better.
He looks at me and says, quite literally, "Meh."
It's good to get perspective on things.
Because of course he's right. It's probably good and necessary to identify this swill of emotions inside of me as I go through this part of my journey. It gives the ecthroi less power over me if I can name them.
But then you have to move on. There's other stuff that needs to be thought about and to be done. There's a hungry world out there that needs to be fed and children that need their educational system fixed for them. There's other misfit toys at church that need to be welcomed and known.
I'm going to be married to Jacob. Slogging through the mire is just what needs to be done to get there.
in the garden :: August 21 - Oh, things are looking a little....wild....out there in the garden these days! I think that's the right word for it - so many things have passed now, and the...